Happy Anniversary!

Well we did it! We celebrated 29 years of marriage on October 20th. They said we were too young. We needed to finish college. We needed to wait. We didn't know what we were getting into. Marriage was for more mature adults. It would never last. I was 19 and she was only 17.

But we proved them wrong. We were and are so in love. It was our love for each other and for the Lord that has brought us this far. No, we didn't just survive 29 years hanging on by a thread. We have enjoyed the journey. In fact we have thrived and our love has grown deeper.

For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.

It's called making a commitment. Yes,we were young and didn't know much about anything but we were committed to making it work. 

This year was different than other years. We stayed at home because Veronica had surgery so we celebrated by me giving her some pain pills and just holding hands quietly. I surprised her with a camera and she gave me some cologne. When she is better we will go out to Maggianos, Carrabbas or Perry's Grille and we'll celebrate with a scrumptious meal and stare deeply into each others eyes and still see that young foolish first love like in the spring of our lives together. 

I am so glad and blessed to be growing old together with the love of my life and enjoying life one day at a time. My advice for young couples considering the plunge into wedded bliss?

For the men, make her fall in love with you again. Keep sweeping her off her feet. For the ladies, keep making him crazy in love with you. Believe in him and stand by him.

For both of you, always keep the Lord at the center of your lives. 

How many years have you been married? How do you keep the flame burning?

Growing closer in the storms of life

In the vows most of us exchanged on our wedding day we probably said the words, "for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer."

Of course we all hope for only the "better, richer and health" part but unfortunately life tends to deal us plenty of "worse, sickness and poorer."

In the gulf coast region we recently were dealt a heavy blow by hurricane Ike. Many have lost much and it's going to be a long road to recovery as we deal with insurance adjusters, FEMA, and other hardships.

It is during these trying times that some marriages that are already strained can suddenly snap under the pressure. Others will grow stronger and closer as they face adversity together. 

How can you tell what the outcome will be? How can we make our marriage stronger during these times of very high stress.  How can we grow closer together and not further apart?

Veronica and I have gone through some rough times and we have a few pointers to share. Whenever tensions were high Veronica and I would regroup and remind ourselves of several things. 

#1. People are not the enemy. That means that Veronica is not my enemy and I am not hers. The kids are not our enemies. The church people are not our enemies. 

#2. Recognize that there is a spiritual adversary that would love nothing more than to disrupt and destroy our marriage and family. Use spiritual weapons to fight him.

#3. Remember that we (our marriage and our family) are on the same team and we want the same things although we may want them in different ways.

#4. If we believe in each other we can face anything together with more strength than we can alone. We need each other especially during difficult times.

#5. Be patient with each other. Stress makes you say and do stupid things. Remember that and let your spouse express frustration without criticizing and judging each other. We are only human and we all make mistakes. It's ok. We are gonna make it through this.

This is by no means an all inclusive list but simply my two cents on the subject. I have much more to say but I will leave that to you my faithful readers to interject your pointers as we could certainly use them all.

Allow the storms of life to make you stronger and to bring you closer together. Somehow it seems that when we lose a lot of stuff we end up realizing what is truly important in our lives.