Look how sweet Burk and Noemi look? I know I am biased but both of my little girls, Noemi and Ester, looked so beautiful and all grown up on their wedding days. Almost makes me misty-eyed just thinking about it.It is so important to tell people, especially our spouse, how or what we are feeling. Communication is vital to a strong and healthy marriage.
Now here's the deal. Most of us don't have a problem telling them exactly how we feel when we are angry or upset. In fact we probably need to learn to communicate a little less because we end up saying something that we'll be sorry for later.
But it is vitally important to tell them how we feel when all is right. When they are doing good and when they have done something nice. Let them know it. Don't keep those kinds of good things to yourself. In fact it would be a great thing if for every bad thing we say we could say at least five nice things.
Now Veronica and I after nearly 29 years of marriage don't have any arguments. However, the neighbors three houses down may have heard our lively discussions :)
Make it a point to express gratitude, love, joy, and appreciation to your life long love. It will go a long way to a healthy marriage and family.
Oh, and it doesn't hurt to say, "I'm sorry" once in a while too!
p.s. Look for a guest writer coming soon to this blog!
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7 comments:
The longer I'm married I am finding two phrases that pop up more often than others, "I Love You," and "I'm sorry." That only leads me to conclude that marriage consists of unconditional love and tons of grace and mercy. It is important to note that both phrases need to genuine. I love you has to be said not only in words but in one's actions as well otherwise the words have no power and fall on deaf ears. The same must be said of being sorry. I can tell Lana I'm sorry a billion times for something, but if my actions do not change, my sorry means absolutely nothing at all.
I try and find creative ways to encourage Lana. I leave love notes around the house on mirrors, oven doors, inside the refrigerator, in her wallet, in the car. I send her encouraging e-cards, etc..
Here's something of interest about hearing good and bad things: We usually tend to believe bad things said about us, our performance, our personality,the way we dress, etc, more readily and easily than we believe anything good about us. It's like this, we can hear 20 wonderful things about us and then we hear something bad, it immediately wipes out the good things we've heard and then we harp on it. I hope I'm not the only one that happens to.
Now about something good. There was a study done recently which concluded that the average person needs to hear about 10-15 compliments a day in order for their self esteem to be built up. That's for and average person. Someone who suffers from low self esteem needs to hear about 25-30 compliments a day. Here's some compliments that go along way: "I appreciate all you do." "I couldn't have chosen anyone better than you." "I love your smile, it lights up a room." "You always know how to make clothes look good sweetie! (aka, you always look great)" "When you sing, heaven applauds." "I'm always encouraged when I'm around you." "Your friendship means the world to me." "Your very presence blesses those around you." You get the idea.
Now try this exercise for the next few weeks. Make a list of four friends, coworkers, or family members. Just four in total. Now get an index card for each person and put their name on top. Next write ten things you appreciate them. Carry the cards with you and go over them from time to time. When you see them, say one or two things from the list to them as a compliment(s). Do this the next several times you see them and note any differences in their countenance. Your words will create positive changes in them. Watch, it will happen. Whether they smile more, walk taller, giggle, or have a hop in their step. You just built them up. But, be genuine, don't force it.
Well, we're just about all packed. Just over a week we shall be there. Keep us in your prayers. Have a blessed day in Christ.
Hey I'm excited to see who the guest writer will be and wonder what topics they'll cover and share.
-Frank
P.S. Be sure to visit:
http://advocate4god.blogspot.com/
The guest writer is not you Franknlana? I was sure it would be. HHum!!! Who could it be? Maybe Veronica, since she will be home recovering? Could it be Ester or Noemi who are so creative? Maybe Susun or Sara, who are excellent writers? Pastor, why do you torture and tease us like this! Who is the mystery writer?
P.S. Noemi and Burk look gorgeous on their wedding day. Look at them now all these years later still happy in love, with 4 little boys. May God continue to bless their family.
Hey author, why do you delete your comments? Go with your first gut intuition and say what comes to mind? Inquiring minds want to know (all of it) :)
Awesome words of advice Frank. You always know exactly what women are thinking. Thanks for taking the time to post your views. I always learn something from you everytime I read your blogs. We can't wait for you and Lana to move to League city and be a part of our church family. We will be praying for your safe here.
To view Frank's blogs (which are excellent) just click his blogger name advocate4god, then on his web page, click Speaking Up For faith in God. Susan and Sara, you ladies will love reading them I'm sure. Frank is a very gifted and talented writer with alot to say.
noemi looks like cinderella..she's definitely the belle of the ball!
i always have a hard time expressing my happiness with Sam and have turned to notes and cards and other stuff to help me out. i've got no problem expressing unhappiness but feel so awkward with everything else! :)
i hope he knows how wonderful i think he is...i think he does. ;)
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